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How To Understand That There Is No Love. How To Preserve Your Dignity

5/12/2020

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Love for a person sometimes makes us not see the obvious; we are not needed by them. We are not loved. And that it is high time we went out of that relationship; although we don't want to. As there are only feeling on our side, we must distance ourselves and give the other side time and opportunity to think: do they need us?
Singer Maria Callas was in a relationship with the billionaire Onassis. And even got rid of the pregnancy at the age of 43 at his request. It was her last chance to be a mother, but Onassis threatened to leave her. And then he left her anyway... Or the King of Siam who was married to a Russian woman, Katya Desnitskaya. He fell in love with someone else. But Katya didn't leave, she didn't´t cry or complain... And her husband "awarded" her the humiliating gift of an abandoned woman. We must step back in advance, before we go through similar experience.
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In order to understand that the relationship will not work out, there are simple signs to spot.
  • Our partner cannot find time to communicate with us. He's terribly busy; though he's not a king of an empire or a billionaire. But he has such a busy schedule and so little time to even respond to a message. And he meets us occasionally and reluctantly. And he shortens his communication time, and he looks at his watch or phone all the time.
  • Our partner does not keep his promises. He promises to call and write, and he doesn't do it. And he doesn't answer our messages for long. We are always the ones who invite him, not the other way. All promises to call are most often an attempt to delicately avoid any communication. He either promises to go somewhere together or to meet - but he doesn't keep his promises.
  • Our partner cannot stand up for us in any conflict, even the most trivial one. And the injustice done to us does not make him feel outraged. He may even take the side of those who attack or do us injustice. It's just chemistry. There is no oxytocin in the blood of someone who doesn't love us - it's the hormone that helps to distinguish between "his" and encourages him to protect what is "his". 
  • Our partner does not tell us about his experiences. He doesn't share his emotions. Although he can talk about events and facts. And does not listen to what we have to say about our feelings - it annoys him.
  • Irritation is a red flag in general. But a person understands the injustice of irritation. And he tries to rationalize his behavior: "Why are you dressed so pretentious?", "You're walking slowly!", "Keep your voice down!" - although you're dressed normally, walk quickly and speak quietly...
  • Our partner does not congratulate the holidays. He just forgets or isn't interested. He doesn't want to waste his time and money on us. We are strangers. And there's no point in sharing anything with us.

There's no point in waiting for something "good" to happen in such a relationship. If there are no mutual feelings in a relationship, it's unlikely they will happen in the future. And it is time to deal with the situation. Or maybe distance yourself before you're "awarded" a humiliation by the person. ​
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