Each one of you has probably been in a situation when you have just met an interesting person, and at that very second a spark flashed between you.
It wasn't necessarily love or physical attraction, maybe a friendly interest or a feeling of kinship. Remember yourself in this moment. It is safe to say that at that very moment it was truly YOU, the kind of person that Nature intended you to be.
After a while, when you started to build relationships, suddenly, for some reason you decided that you need to try to portray someone, to represent something, to play a role. The role of the "ideal wife", "ideal husband", "ideal friend" ... There is this impeccable image in your head, which, as it seems to you, you must correspond to.
For example, the image of an “ideal woman” - always well-groomed, always smiling, always ready to please her man, even against her own desires. Or the image of a "real man" who knows no doubts, no fears, and does not know weaknesses, he is always successful and purposeful.
But all people on our planet are different, each of us is a unique personality. If a woman doesn't like cooking, wearing high-heeled shoes, or growing long hair, for example, that doesn't make her wrong, does not make her less worthy or less valuable as a person. If a man has a gentle character and is emotional, this does not mean that he is weak and “does not meet” standards.
It is exactly at this very moment when consciously or unconsciously, you try to correspond, to follow the stereotypes and standards invented by someone - that you lose your yourself, i.e you begin to lose your authenticity.
These standards and patterns are so strong and tenacious in our society and they are so actively imposed on us by the System that many people unwittingly take them for the truth. And either they themselves are trying to adapt to them, or they want to "remake" their partner in accordance with these so-called ideals.
It happens that people have been living together for a long time and suddenly notice that the flame in their relationship has gone. Quarrels, arguments and misunderstandings occur more and more often. And in order to regain the old feelings, they again start to change themselves. They are trying to keep their partner in their lives by becoming more agreeable, more beautiful, more intelligent ...
After all, they are firmly convinced that they love only such people. Perhaps you have read about it in some books, perhaps you copied the "ideal image" from a movie or social networks.
Social networks are generally overflown with beautiful "glossy" images of how it all "should be". But this is often just a deception, a trick of the System, a trap of the reality. For example, it is beneficial for the "fashion reality" to involve as many people as possible in its networks. And an unconscious person "falls" into this trap. Instead of just enjoying beautiful and comfortable clothes, they begin to mindlessly buy up all the "new collections" in order to "match", to show their status and be popular with the opposite sex.
In fact, by following those "invented ideals and trends", we try to become what we are not. But even if you started this game, the moment will surely come when the "house of cards" collapses. As a result, people part, tired of pretending. Both of you are filled with unjustified expectations and exaggerated demands, resentments and claims, pain and anger. And the concept “I will behave like this and they will be happy with me” stops working.
Such a program is often embedded in us from childhood. When a child tries with all his might to earn the attention and love of his or her parents, without knowing the Power of true unconditional love. This negative attitude is also activated in adulthood when building personal relationships. We begin to "deserve" love and attention in different ways, changing ourselves and changing ourselves.
As soon as you realize that you need to change yourself in order to find happiness and build harmonious relationships, know that this story is definitely not about love. With the desire to change yourself for the sake of love, you voluntarily give up your essence, your uniqueness. The tragedy is also that you lose love for yourself, and your World begins to reflect this "dislike" in all spheres of life.
If you want to find true love, if you want to maintain joy in your existing relationship, then first of all be yourself! Love yourself and accept yourself. And then from this state of being you will know real happiness and sincere love!
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