It is always difficult and painful to experience break-ups, because we start aching and crying for a person whom we loved very much, but lost. But time heals all wounds, and, ultimately, you will meet someone else. Over time, the old love becomes something distant and even forgotten.
But there are other gaps. Such a gap happens when there is a person whom you can’t get out of your head, whatever you do. Not a day goes by that you do not think about this person, and your heart breaks with sorrow. This often happens because you think the relationship is not over. You cannot recognize and believe in it, because such a thought drives you crazy.
Instead, you tell yourself that everything is fine and you can move on. But you are fooling yourself. This happens until you hear the song, see the photo, want to share something with your loved one, or wake up thinking about this person.
Many people appear in our life, and also leave. You meet some people only once and never see them again, you may like them very much, but nothing comes out of it. Some hurt your feelings, and then you need months to forget all the pain. Eventually you get over it.
But this feeling, the feeling surrounding the love of your life, is different. This is the feeling you get when you know that a relationship is going to end and that relationship is not forever. You cannot just say “I wish you all the best” and just move on. You cannot end a chapter because you know that you cannot end a relationship. Not now...and maybe never. And then you plunge into the "love purgatory." This is a place where you know who the love of your life is, but you cannot be together. Maybe you met briefly, maybe you had a full relationship or you have never been officially together. The connection with this person is so real, strong and attractive that you constantly step back. The relationship has not reached its climax, therefore, can not be ended.
In fact, it could be the person you broke up with. Or cannot be with this person due to lack of time, and many other things, you constantly miss the opportunity, etc. Therefore, you sit in this "love purgatory" and wait for the time when you can find each other again. You do not just sit, listen to sad music and wait. You have to be distracted by something and drive away all the feelings and thoughts from yourself, in order to be a sane person, in order to live a normal life.
You meet other lovely, beautiful people with whom you want something to work out, but it never happens because something goes wrong. It's just not like _________ (fill in the blank with the name).
“She's not like Rachel” is a famous phrase from the series "Friends". And this is the person who keeps you in love purgatory, which makes you feel the way you feel. These feelings cannot be compared to anything.
Such a connection only happens once in a lifetime or two. Your friends think you are crazy and you feel that way. Why, when there are millions of people in the world, you have chosen just one. You cannot answer this question.
“The heart has its reasons of which reason knows nothing.”
Some people meet someone, fall in love and live happily ever after. But many others are not that lucky. Some of us are forced to fight, experience break-ups and go through all the circles of hell in order to make something happen. Maybe it is again a problem with time. Maybe you first need to learn and become more mature before you can calm down.
Whatever the problem, you know that in the end, you will find each other again. There is a person whom you cannot and never want to let go.
But, before you find a way out, you will experience pain waiting in "love purgatory", hoping that you can find someone or something who can occupy your thoughts. Some people may be outraged by this and think: “Love should look and feel different” or “If I were mature in love, it would not be so complicated.” But do not agree to such statements, simply ask yourself: “How do I know?” People are very complex and love is not always a pleasant thing.
If you had done everything differently, this does not mean that it is not right. This means that your path was easier. All those who are now in love purgatory will also be with their loved ones one day.
(According to: Lauren Skirvin, The Absolute Tragedy Of Meeting The Love Of Your Life At The Wrong Time)
We also offer psychological and life coaching consultation services online.
If you want to schedule your session, click the button below.
YOU CAN ALSO SUPPORT OUR WORK THROUGH PAYPAL