“You always need to know when the next stage of your life ends. The circle closes, the door closes, the chapter ends - no matter what you call it, it is important to leave in the past what already belongs to the past.”
- Paulo Coelho -
Each one of us has a past with many good and bad things in it. We remember some things with a warm smile, but we also prefer to forget about many of them. The problem is that the decision to forget is a not a long-term relief. From time to time, ghosts of the past appear on the horizon and poison the present day. Unfortunately, the past affects us more than it should. Do you know why? Because we allow it!
How many ghosts from the past are still chasing you now? We assume a lot. The saddest thing is that they not only hurt, but literally steal the present. The fact is that even when you believe that a traumatic situation from the past has long been hidden deep in memory, it continues to influence your life on a subconscious level.
Don't let the past stop you from moving forward. Don't let it drag you into the depths of worrying and suffering about past mistakes and failures. This blocks the will and the ability to act. This robs you of self-confidence and an adequate assessment of what is happening here and now.
How to get rid of the ghosts of the past if they continue to haunt you even on a subconscious level? The task seems really impossible. Although in reality everything is simple: you must use your past for your purposes. Namely: learn to look at it as another opportunity to learn something from. Draw the necessary conclusions. Change. Acquire useful new skills. Get rid of what doesn't work or has failed. There are many options to learn lessons from the past. And most of them just lie on the surface. It is enough to answer oneself a simple question: "What caused the things which happened in the past, and what can I do to prevent this from happening again?"
Your past is an invaluable experience
We tend to look remember the past with bitterness. From today's perspective, everything seems so clear and understandable: you should not have acted in the way you acted - so to speak, or kept silent at some point, etc. You probably think: I wish I could go back even for a minute and “rewrite” a page or two! And if you think about it: is it really necessary to rewrite the past in order to feel happy in the present and in the future?
If you think so, then this is very wrong. And, mind you, quite unsafe for the future. Because we cannot go back to what has already happened. And all your "reflections" about how everything turned out "if only" is like running across a field on a hot day after annoying flies. It is stupid, useless, tiresome, and most importantly, you steal precious minutes of your real, real life from yourself. You steal from yourself what could have happened, but will never happen, because you missed a lot of opportunities, "chasing flies."
None of these wasted minutes can be returned. This is what is really scary and should really worry you. Not the past, which has long been gone. Is it possible that what no longer exists is so valuable and unique that you neglect the present moment?
You feel sad and unsuccessful because you have had traumatic experiences in the past. This reaction to something you cannot change is completely normal. The abnormal is full immersion in this state. How do you get yourself out and help? The first step is to accept that what happened has already happened and there is no turning back. Accept it! It is impossible to change the past, but everyone can accept it.
As soon as you do this, you will immediately be on the right path: you will see that the past you left behind is a very valuable experience. Whatever happens in life - you should see something good in it. And it is enough to ask yourself: "What did this teach me?" In this way, you will gain new experiences that will be a wonderful help today and in the long term.
Nothing and nobody passes without a trace. Every person, every event leaves its mark. And every new experience changes our life and changes us. Is this good or bad? The answer is obvious, because the past experience (even the most bitter and unpleasant one) should be perceived as another "pendulum" in life, forcing us to go forward and not stop, to grow and improve as a person.
So is it worth grieving over all the bad things that have happened to you in the past? Never. Think hard. What have you learned from them? What did you gain and what did you get rid of? Thanks to the past, you are who you are today. So use your experience to become a better person today and tomorrow. Take your past, accept it and learn from negative experience, and only after that you can send it to the "dustbin of history". And one more thing: enjoy the present, enjoy the future, because this is what you also learn from and will learn from.
Once you've decided that there is no point in grieving and regretting the past after you have learned the necessary lessons, it's time to think about your future. In fact, your future today is a blank sheet of paper: what you write, what you draw - it will be so. Yes, no one knows what lies ahead. However, we know something. For example, what determines our future is what we do today.
Just as our past predetermined the present, so the future depends directly on what is happening here and now.
Don't carry on your back this awful load of frustration over past mistakes. It's never too late to do this: get rid of this "backpack" today and focus on the really important things about your present and the future.
Dig into yourself, talk to yourself, try to find answers to the following questions: Who (what) will you be? What are you planning to do? How can this be achieved?
The answers to these questions are the key to your future. And, mind you, it is in your hands. Not with other people or providence, but in your hands. How you want to see your future - that's how it will be. Remember, only you have the key!
Do you want to continue carrying a heavy load or still decide to live freely? The future belongs to you and no one else. Therefore, do not procrastinate, but go on the path that leads to the future you want today. It is important to realize, to literally visualize that, despite the difficulties and negative things that may happen, you will continue to go on, without deviating from your path.
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.”
- Peter Drucker
So, have you already decided how you want to see your future? Visualize it and free yourself from everything that can prevent you from achieving your plan. Remember that every minute, every moment that you spend in your past (even mentally) is the time wasted.
Learn from your past, don't dismiss everything that was there. After all, you can always turn a lemon given by fate into a fragrant and tasty lemonade. In fact ... even the bad things taught you something, even if you categorically deny it today. You just need to once look back and look at your past from a different angle - from the point of view of acceptance, opportunities for growth and improvement, from the point of view of gaining invaluable experience.
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