Resentment Is A Heavy Burden: How To Learn To Forgive

The ability to forgive is what helps deal with resentment and grievances. To forgive means to show one’s strength, to overcome oneself and to rise above a situation and offenders. 

Through forgiving and letting go of insults, you realize that such problems no longer affect you, that you can be happy again. And when you learn not to take them personally, you will become more joyful and healthy.

Official medicine recognizes the relationship between forgiveness and human health. Resentment and disappointment are an overwhelming burden on the physical level. The act of forgiveness helps reduce stress, anxiety and depression, build strong and healthy relationships, restore well-being and improve our mental and emotional health.

​How to learn to forgive 

Forgiveness Exercise
Sit down, take a comfortable position, cover your eyes and focus on your breathing. Remember the circumstances in which you hurt another person: knowingly or unconsciously. You may have said harsh words with which you hurt them, or caused actions to ridicule somebody. Try putting yourself in the place of this person and feel the pain, frustration, or anger that that person might have experienced.
When imagining this person, give them a name. Say that you understand what the pain you caused them and ask him for forgiveness. The desire for forgiveness must be sincere and must come from your heart. Repeat this request several times and open your mind to the possibility of being forgiven.

Погледајте ову објаву у апликацији Instagram

Објава коју дели Life Lessons I Learned (@life.lessons.l.learned) дана 16. Јун 2020. у 4:41 PDT

Forgive yourself exercise
Analyze the qualities of your character, for which you constantly condemn yourself. For example, you blame yourself for excessive talkativeness, or love of gossip, irritability or addictive behavior. You can hate yourself for cowardice, because you constantly miss the chance to change your life and achieve more, or you may be ruining your life with bad habits.

Try to understand why this unacceptable part of you exists, what drives it? Think if it is addiction to food, drugs or alcohol, then what kind of need are you trying to satisfy with it, or what fears are you trying to drown? If you often condemn other people, what features do you feel disgusted at? Perhaps those that you see in yourself and are afraid to recognize them?

Recognize the fears and desires that lie deep in your consciousness, acknowledge their existence, accept that you have them. And now forgive yourself for feelings, thoughts or behavior that you reject - fear, shame, condemnation. Sincerely forgive yourself for all that you experience and let go of these feelings.
You may feel that you are doing this automatically, that you really cannot deserve forgiveness, and you will do the same in the future. But forgive yourself for these thoughts and admit that you want to forgive and this will happen when you are ready.

​Forgiving Others Exercise
Each person once experienced pain and indignation due to betrayal, or got hurt by bad relationships, violence, and manipulations. Have you stopped feeling resentment or pain when recalling a situation or the person who caused them to you? Do not feel anger or disappointment?

Try to remember in the the smallest detail the situation when you were hurt: the angry expression on the face of a person, derogatory words, gestures. Remember the pain, feel it and look again at the person who caused them. Try to understand what motivated them, what they felt at that moment: the pain, fear, insecurity, anger.

Try to admit that this person is not perfect - they are just human, they are vulnerable, full of their own fears and doubts. Mentally call their name and offer them forgiveness. Try to forgive him sincerely. If you are not ready to do it yet, then say that you have the intention to forgive them and repeat this exercise as needed.
You can do these exercises at any time during the day. If you feel any negative emotion, then pause, be aware of your thoughts and feelings and try to forgive yourself and accept.