I usually inspire people to a new understanding and give them clues to solve their problems. But now I understand that time has changed. And instead of giving you a ready-made answer, it’s much more productive to show you an algorithm - how to find a ready-made answer within yourself, how to support yourself in those situations in which you lose confidence in future or don’t understand where you are going.
Therefore, I bring to your attention two very simple axioms. You should strongly remember these two approaches to life and subsequently through this prism you will be able to consider any of your life situations.
I remind you that the axiom is the truth accepted without evidence. We just believe that it is as it is. I am telling you this, because I was convinced through my own experience in this. Wise people say the universe works like this.
The first axiom says that if a problem has arisen in your life (it doesn’t matter, if it’s a disease, a difficult situation, some kind of difficulty), then you definitely have the resource to solve it. Think about it. If you accept the fact that, together with the adoption of the problem, you have a solution to it, a lot of energy is saved, which would otherwise go into doubting.
What is the problem? A problem is an obstacle to your happiness. What is an obstacle? This is some kind of event, energy or thought that delays the flow of your life force. And where the obstacle lies, congestion accumulates. A disease is formed in the body, or discomfort in the body.
But this is your energy, just this energy does not flow smoothly and calmly to where it should flow; instead it becomes but it becomes a dam. Moreover, the energy of this dam can become a swamp, if it remains an obstacle in the way.
And the same energy is that fuel, that driving force that will spin the turbines of your life when you carefully and correctly withdraw this water, i.e. deal with the problem. So, I repeat - God does not send you tests beyond your strength. If you have a question, you definitely have an answer to it. Specifically for you there is an answer. Therefore, this approach to life — I’m looking for an answer on how to act, immediately knowing that it definitely exists — is very different from the usual attitude to my problems when we doubt whether we will ever be able to solve the problem.
This is just a matter of choice. If you decide to change this, then you will change it. Sooner or later, one way or another, but you have the energy to change it. This is the first axiom.
The second axiom sounds like this: what we focus on is getting stronger.
When we want to get rid of a problem, we think a lot about it. We analyze the problem, we observe our unpleasant conditions... And so we direct our energy to the problem.
When you have a problem, do something else, do not focus on the problem. After you saw this problem, write down how you want to live without it, what you want to be, if this problem did not exist, how you see yourself, if this issue, this complexity in relationships with loved ones would not exist.
Write down what you want, not what you want to get rid of. Reformulate your problem in a positive way: "I want to expand this in my life."
If you look at any problem on the basis of what you want to have, then you will find many different ways to get out of this difficult situation.
Let's look at these axioms as an example of a question asked by a participant in my courses: “Despite the fact that I accepted my body a long time ago and that my appearance has ceased to be a problem, there is still the fear inside me of not liking how I look. And can I do with this fear? ”
Let us now transfer this situation to a job search. For example, you want to find a good job which will make you happy, fulfilled and well paid. And you are afraid that you will not get this job.
If you think about how to get this job, you will be nervous, and your professional qualities - your talent, your skill - will not be fully manifested in your behavior. And the employer simply does not know who you are professionally.
But if you want to be yourself as much as possible during the interview, and still you do not get this job, then the fact that you were denied a job if you were yourself as much as possible is a very useful fact for you. You have demonstrated who you are - your best qualities, your abilities, your capabilities - and the employer rejected you. This means that if you would come to this job with these qualities, you would suffer there. You would not resonate with that job.
Very often people seem to think that the attraction of sexual partners or romantic relationships is based on something external: to be liked, or not liked. No my friends. A couple who has a future together are attracted to each other in spite of appearance. They are attracted to each other due to the internal coincidence of vibrations. It's like two notes that sound harmonious.
Therefore, if you have fear of showing who you really are, you have a completely different task: not to fight with fear, but to accept yourself as much as possible and feel at ease with what you are. So that in your body, in your face, in your gestures, in the way you walk, in your gaze, in your speech, your soul will shine through as much as possible. And only then it is possible to meet a person who is your soulmate.
But if you worry about what you may not like, doubt whether you are good or not, you cannot be yourself at that moment. At this moment, you are simply not in the right "shell". It is not surprising that a person close to you in spirit may not recognize you.
Let us return to the axiom I spoke about at the beginning of this conversation. If we change the question with “How to get rid of the fear of not liking the person I am?” to “How to make my chosen one recognize me and see me?”, the answer suggests itself: be yourself as much as possible, love your body, let your soul manifest itself in your gaze and in your walk.
We often confuse two things: on the one hand, how to get rid of an obstacle, on the other hand, how to achieve the state that will lead us to victory. We must not get rid of the interference, but we must accept this state. Attention should not be directed to the problem, but to the state of life that you want to develop. I wish you confidence in yourself.
(Author: Svetlana Dobrovolskaya)
We also offer psychological and life coaching consultation services online.
If you want to schedule your session, click the button below.
YOU CAN ALSO SUPPORT OUR WORK THROUGH PAYPAL