Solitude Can Help You Understand Yourself Better

Don’t confuse loneliness with time by yourself. It is not the same.

Loneliness is a topic that frightens many people, it is the word stands for one of the greatest fears of man. We try in every way to have a thousand commitments in our life and to be among people; this reassures us because in some way it confirms our identity (our Ego) and our value, first to ourselves and then to others

Not everyone is able to perceive solitude as one of the most precious resources, and whoever has understood it, manages to embrace solitude as an amulet that allows us to get to know ourselves and who we really are. We must remember that we are alone, but alone with life, creation, and it is from this that we manage to be "One" together with the other and the others. One enters this state of solitude which is certainly not isolation, but depth, it is like being alone as a Sun within its solar system. Because only when we feel one with life, with the universe, we are able to shine, we are able to become love. Paradoxically, we think that in order to love we must be together with somebody. But, real love starts from solitude from  the moment  we accept to be a Sun.

Arthur Schopenhauer wrote: "What makes men sociable is their inability to endure loneliness and, in this, themselves."

Being alone allows you to focus and understand your path, your mission, allows you to understand what is most suitable for you, to descend deeply into an ever greater love, towards everything: life, of people, things, situations. True love does not border on attachment, but touches upon perfection, divine love, unconditional love. The same loneliness that Jesus felt when he decided to isolate himself for forty days from everything and everyone by going to the desert, to be able to listen to his own inner voice, to truly understand what his mission was here on Earth and to resist material temptations

This is why it is very important to learn to be alone, to feel good in your own company, in order to travel through life in a trusted companion, who will never abandon us. When you start appreciating your own company, when you manage to feel good about yourself, this inner strength shines like a Sun, it comes out, and it is an obligatory passage to then feel good with others. If you are not comfortable with yourself, if you are not comfortable in your company, how can you expect to be comfortable with others and that they will appreciate our company? If we don't appreciate / love ourselves, how is it possible that we can appreciate and love others?

We seek love, and this love flows, is found everywhere, we are not looking for "the person", but the love that flows through the person, and this love we must train to recognize, then it will be the moment that we will meet it. Because it is love that we must meet, not the person. This understanding starts precisely from solitude, from meeting love in solitude, in ourselves and in everything that surrounds us. Then we will truly be in love, with words, with eyes, with feelings: we will be totally in love with life.

When we accept to face solitude we discover that we are united with the whole, and life itself will keep us company, not only with a person, but with all its elements and we will feel so supported by the divine existence that we will no longer need anything else. And with this support it is possible to go through the most difficult moments, overcome every obstacle and bring to completion what we are destined to do..

"The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it is not. It is an existential truth: only those persons who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of the other person - without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other. Then why do they want to be together? It is no longer a need; it is a luxury. Try to understand it. Real persons love each other as a luxury; it is not a need. They enjoy sharing: they have so much joy; they would like to pour it into somebody. And they know how to play their life as a solo instrument. The solo flute player knows how to enjoy his flute alone. And if he comes and finds a tabla player or a solo tabla player, they will enjoy being together and creating a harmony between the flute and the tabla. Both will enjoy it. They will both pour their richness into each other."
(OSHO)