Some people come into our lives to teach us not to be like them. Because, as Oscar Wilde said it, “some people bring happiness wherever they come; others only when they leave."
Nonetheless, even these people teach us something, while making us suffer, since they give us the opportunity to manage our feelings differently from them.
Viktor Frankl wrote that life is a significant experience and that we can learn our lessons also from the things that made us suffer. Although sometimes we may not find the meaning in certain negative relationships, in reality, they offer us a vision of the world previously unknown to us.
In other words, it means that these experiences teach us what we have to value in and around ourselves. They show us what we don't want to become.
Our principles become stronger thanks to certain experiences
Being witnesses of injustice and feeling very uneasy about the behaviors that some people direct towards us, helps us to reflect on our principles and in this way we strengthen our beliefs about what is good and what is bad.
Betrayals, coldness and arrogance hurt. They are very bad. Sometimes the most painful thing is not to recognize the people who once surrounded us. There are people who, in the end, show themselves for who they really are, when they no longer need us and do not hide it.
When this happens, the pain itself allows us to review our priorities and our behaviors towards others. For this reason, sometimes having a bad time makes us better people.
It helps us value other feelings and promotes our growth. All this requires a great deal of inner work, which allows us to move forward and not to accumulate angriness, feelings of guilt or resentment.
Moving away from people who create problems is good for our health and our soul
When we have to move away from the people who hurt us, it is good to know the advantages and use them. That is, take advantage of the fact that their reactions and intentions are increasingly predictable. This allows us to relate to others in a different way, since we can better manage the surrounding environment.
In this sense, we must not give so much importance to what these people do, but focus our attention on the lessons we can draw from what we have lived, helping us to create growth opportunities and working on our self-esteem and our strength.
Because, in the end, those who always expect something are disappointed, and to expect everything from someone can cause disillusionment and make us submissive, making our psychological oxygen disappear, contaminating our emotions and amplifying our anxieties.
Maintaining the perspective will help us achieve some indifference and get off those emotional roller coasters, allowing us to separate our concerns from others and freeing ourselves from insecurities and their disproportionate reactions.
The idea is to clear ideas and express our thoughts and emotions without fear of the consequences. This will give us quick, direct and at the same time satisfactory results: our problems will decrease and we will be able to live in peace.
When someone tries to intentionally harm us, then we have to choose whether to leave our emotional windows open and let in what will make us suffocate. Life is too short to live it worried by what the people around us do or don't do. For this reason, the best decision we can make is to move away from all that is negative and get closer to what makes us feel good.
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