As the writer Ivan Bunin said: "The one who never takes any risk is at risk the most".
Most people are afraid of failure, like it is some kind of plague. They have only one thought in their heads: to plan everything to the smallest detail, just to avoid being defeated, and to avoid that horrible experience - failure.
They are trying to achieve perfection in literally everything. As if it is a 100% guarantee of success and prosperity. They refuse taking the slightest risk and trying something new. They do their best to make sure everything is under control, and failure is not an option.
This approach ti life is extremely erroneous. We are talking about missed opportunities here, which, oddly enough, open before us after each fall and each failure. And if you realize this, then failure can be a valuable gift, not something intimidating, which should be avoided at all costs.
In fact, attempts to avoid failure are nothing more than a manifestation of our proud Ego which does not want to be defeated. Indeed, if you constantly run away from them, then in the short term, perhaps this will work. But, firstly, this will not always be the case, and, secondly, by avoiding failure, you will not achieve success.
The fact is that each and every failure brings a lot of new opportunities that you simply could not have with a steady and well-planned course of life. That is why so many successful people from the business world always emphasize that they would never have reached the heights, if it has not been for the repeated falls and failures. Many of them had to start literally from the beginning, and more than once.
That is why you should learn to be friends with failure, that is, use it as a tool on your way to success.
This is how Seth Godin, an American entrepreneur, economist, and author of 18 best-selling books, explains why entrepreneurs who are not afraid of failure are more productive and achieve more:
"The rule is simple: In the end, the one who fails the most, wins. If I have failed more than you, then I will win in the end ... Because in order to continue, you need to constantly improve and become better, so as not to fall out of the game.
Thus, if after the first serious failure you decide to leave the game, it means that you lost once and for all. If you fall, rise, fall again and rise again, then you are constantly learning new things, becoming stronger and wiser.
Over time, you will learn to see more, understand better, look deeper. You will learn to quickly distinguish between a good idea and a bad one. And, most importantly, you will move on. ”
This is confirmed by numerous studies by scientists. If you want to make a breakthrough in some area, to come up with something new that you did not have before, you will have to try out hundreds, or even thousands, of different ideas. Most of them will not work, and many will be nothing more than failures. But over time, after going through failures and mistakes, you will learn to determine what is rational and what should be accepted, and what should be discarded.
Each mistake by trial and error will bring you closer to the optimal solution.
If the fear of failure still haunts you, we offer several very effective strategies that will help you get rid of it once and for all:
1. Just do it
Publish your work. Do not hide because of fear that you will not be noticed or criticized, just do what you feel you should do. Speak out loud and write about your ideas. Try a variety of methods and techniques. Hundreds, thousands of times. Do not hide, but on the contrary - tell, show, demonstrate in public what you have learned and what you have done.
This will help you perceive mistakes, misunderstandings and failures as an integral part of your work. You will gain the necessary experience and get a clearer idea of what and how to do.
2. Avoid thinking about the results
The fact that you were unsuccessful does not mean at all that you are a walking disaster who will never have a success again. Or that you are not good enough and smart. It just means that the approach that was once chosen to achieve the desired result this time did not work.
Remember: how others react to your work should not affect your self-esteem and motivation. The main thing is to remember why you are going what you are striving for. Everything else is just scenery. Your work is the most important and decisive.
As the American writer, bestselling author of Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert in her TED speech said:
“... I understood very well that writing the continuation of the book“ Eat, Pray, Love ”is a rather risky task. After such a resounding success, I was afraid that I would disappoint my readers. But still I wrote a sequel. And you know what happened to this book? Complete failure. But I did it. Honestly, it didn’t hurt me. I discovered for myself that the main thing is to write only because of dedication ...
Soon I wrote a new book, and that one received a lot of positive reviews, which is very nice. But now I'm not talking about that here. I’m writing another book, and after it I’ll write another one, and then another, and more, and more books. Many of them are expected to be a complete failure, and some - on the contrary, very successful. But it doesn’t scare me how everything will turn out in the end result. After all, I always remember what I’m doing and why I am doing it. ”
3. The key to success - "thinking growth"
None of us was born with a set of skills, abilities and answers to all questions, how and what to do. Talent, splendor and the ability to do something better than anyone - this is not something that was presented to you forever. All this comes with time and thanks to your hard work and perseverance.
According to the research of Carol Dweck, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, a “prerequisite for the development of the qualities that we want to possess is “thinking of growth ”. In her book “Mindset" she explains this with the example of children who were instilled with this type of thinking from an early age.
It turned out that their failures were not only not upsetting and discouraging - these children did not even think that they had failed. They thought they were just learning. They were firmly convinced of this!
So treat your failures as a rewarding experience and an opportunity to learn something new. Cheer up, some time will pass, and thanks to the acquired new skills you will achieve success.
The only condition is to forget that in life everything will be like just like in a fairy tale. It's just the opposite. Success without failure, and often a very serious one - does not happen.
Therefore, accept all obstacles, errors and trials as gifts. They are all experience, and it is priceless. And soon you will see for yourself that true success will come. And thanks to failures, and the contrary.
We also offer psychological and life coaching consultation services online.
If you want to schedule your session, click the button below.
YOU CAN ALSO SUPPORT OUR WORK THROUGH PAYPAL