Sometimes what seems very simple hides a reality that cannot be overlooked. Not everything in our lives can be changed, nor can we always "detach" ourselves from certain places or reality.
"What you deny or reject suppresses you. What you accept changes you,"
- Carl Gustav Jung
You may have a really bad relationship with your boss, but you love your job and get along well with your colleagues. Or you have a difficult relationship with one of your parents, with periodic reconciliation and conflicts. But you don't want to completely break up the relationship just because of that.
Some aspects of life deprive us of peace, and sometimes even the inner balance. However, everything related to difficult periods is very important for us.
So how can you deal with such situations without feeling that "half" of your happiness is gone? We offer several answers to this question.
There are things that we can accept after some changes within ourselves occur.
The first thing we must learn is to develop psychological flexibility. Think of it as a branch of a tree up in the mountains, where strong winds blow. Because of its flexibility, the branch doesn't break.
Now let's imagine a dominant mother with whom you have always had a difficult relationship. Sooner or later there comes the moment when we ask ourselves the question: "What should I do? "Keep your distance from her at all times or just accept what's happening?" Acceptance therapy will never advise us to give up or succumb to her cunning or negative influences. Let's look at this theory in more detail
According to the acceptance theory, suffering is part of our lives. But we must learn to manage, understand, and turn this suffering into something else. Psychological rigidity will not lead to anything good; it will only prolong the vicious circle. In the end, we will only lose the ability to freely choose our line of action in dealing with our daily problems.
It's good to be aware of your emotions. To accept them is to understand what is happening to you and how you feel when you are around certain people.
It is important to learn to live in the here and now. Waiting for something to change or for others to behave the way you want them to, is a waste of time. Your overbearing mother will not change her attitude, and the boss will not become an expert in emotional intelligence in a month.
Once you are fully aware of the reality and the fact that some people are not going to change their behavior, you just accept them as they are. And that acceptance doesn't involve accepting their attitude towards you at all.
You have to remember your values, principles, needs and stay true to them. Following them will help you establish healthy boundaries so that those people don't get to you with their words. They can continue to languish in their problems but they are no longer able to influence you in any way. You know who you are and what you're worth.
Things we can change and things we leave behind...
You realize that you are now accepting some things because you have learned to deal with them and are adequately assessing their impact on your life. And other aspects of your environment are not that important, so you can leave them behind, move on and build a truly happy life.
It's much better to let go than to keep clinging to something because that's how you develop. Otherwise, you just limit yourself and your life.
Closing one door in order to open another is not a mistake. No, the change cannot guarantee your happiness. But the biggest mistake will be the decision to stay in a place full of disappointments, and changing nothing, while your self-esteem is being destroyed more and more.
Learn to follow this simple principle in your life: you can always accept a situation, let go of it or try to change it.
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