Psychologists say that sometimes pain is the best medicine. This statement may surprise you, or you may disagree with it. However, in reality, any emotion we experience, positive or negative, always teaches us something.
For example, suffering is often the best tool for developing a person's life skills. Thus, by learning from our losses, defeats and disappointments, we thereby open up new opportunities for ourselves. And while some of us choose to ignore pain, it is not uncommon for people to bury the pain deep down in their minds.
But there is no sure way to get away from pain forever. From time to time, it still finds an opportunity to prove itself. At such times, we are overcome by anger, resentment and disappointment, whether we like it or not.
How a negative emotion becomes an obsessive thought
Here's an example. You are in a relationship. You love the person and live together. However, something inside of you tells you that your relationship is no longer the same. You feel that your partner no longer loves you in the same way they used to. You cannot accept this and deny the obvious, and your partner, for some unknown reason, does not want to discuss the current situation.
Time passes, and although you are perfectly aware that your relationship has lost its sincerity, you continue to deny this fact, refusing to see the obvious. People around you also begin to notice what is happening, but you deny everything. The negative emotion that you hide within yourself is trying to free itself more and more every day.
No matter how carefully you hide the truth, it will still find the way out.
Even though you have hidden in deep down in your mind and try not to remember it, you will still be constantly haunted by destructive thoughts. The fact is that the mind has a special mechanism for interacting with negative emotions, turning them into obsessive thoughts.
If we tell ourselves that “we will not be sad,” then in reality the opposite situation happens. It is more effective to ask yourself the reasons for this sadness. It sounds strange, but it is. Negative emotions persist for a long time, resisting any logical reasoning and common sense. And ultimately they can take the form of obsessive and irrational thoughts.
Your reasoning goes something like this: “If I don't accept it, then it doesn't exist. And thus I can avoid problems." But in reality, the problems only get worse, and you can no longer stop thinking about them.
Adaptive emotional function
Emotions such as sadness, anger, and fear act as medicine for a person. We know they are the hardest to accept, but they really help us adapt. For example, fear makes us run away, which in turn contributes to survival. It is an instinct inherent in humans as a species.
However, in the course of the evolution, people also realized something else. Sometimes running away is not the answer. Instead, you need to stay and get to know your enemy better. Ignoring the danger will not help you cope with it. The same goes for sadness - you need to accept it, cry, and then start resisting it. Negative emotions allow us to survive, forcing us to follow the least known path, because development is sometimes possible only there.
Attempts to escape from our negative emotions only contribute to their growth to the extent that they begin to destroy us from the inside. So why resist? Let them exist.
The best you can do is accept them. This way you will gradually learn to split them into smaller pieces until they finally disappear forever.
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